Monday, January 11, 2016

Side B from an Asexual Perspective

This weekend has been so spectacular. As the GCN has looked at what’s next I’ve heard a whole lot about the “silent letters” and the “forgotten orientations.” Asexuality has been called out specifically more than a few times (thanks!). I’ve also been convicted, especially by Allyson Robinson’s plenary. I’m a “Side A” Christian, and I’ll admit that as often as I remind myself that “Side B” Christians come to their conclusions out of long prayer and study and reflection , I had fallen into the habit of thinking that Side B was something to be tolerated, or respectfully avoided while the course of progress slowly made it irrelevant. I thought Side B wouldn’t have anything to offer me, that it was a relic of an old way of thinking.
But I attended a session on celibacy, mostly because I’m a really huge fan of Lindsey & Sarah, the bloggers who run A Queer Calling, and who were leading the session, I’d read their post disowning the Side A – Side B terminology, and their posts denouncing the celibacy mandate. The session ended up not being led by them (they were there though, and I was still too timid to say hi afterwards), Ron Belgau, the Side B of “The Great Debate” led it instead. At that session, he addressed the group as a group of Side B people, which made me a bit uncomfortable. But when we broke into groups and people immediately started complaining pointing out how bad society is at friendship/any kind of non-sexual/non-romanticrelationship, I was like “Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about!” and when they started talking about their hopes and dreams for future relationships, and models of relationships, I realized that I’d made a huge mistake. The people that I had dismissed were exactly the people I’d been looking for. In the months that I’d been looking for answers and options, looking for a path to follow or at least a destination to trail blaze towards, I, out of a misplaced derision, had over looked some of the people who would have been the most likely to have already blazed that trail ahead of me.

Oops.

To all the Side B Christians: I’m so sorry, thank you for being so radical, thank you for blazing a trail. So now I’ve got a whole lot more reading to do. And I’m so thankful. 

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